Push me, Pull me

Come back.

So doing my finest study breaking in the form of blogging for the second time today. Had this thought today that I've had a lot recently about the concept of time and how I feel I move in and around it. I was thinking of a trip to Chicago that I took a mere month and a half ago, and how that trip felt like it occurred months ago. I was listening to some music that brought me back to last years Lollapalooza, always a fantastic three days, and that trip felt like it was ages ago.

I guess more so now than ever I feel like a snow ball barreling down a hill. I get caught up in the moment, the day, the week, the weekend, that second, and just keep plowing through and forward, making yesterday feel like weeks ago. I've been in Iowa City for almost two years now, I'm 22 odd years old, and the three years I spent at the University of Wisconsin-Platteville seems like a lifetime ago. The life that I left there, one as an athlete with people that I had gotten to know for 3 years, working odd jobs at Lands' End and Radioshack, going to movies at the Millenium, spending my days reviewing film and at practice, making orange julius like shakes with vanilla ice cream and orange juice in the cafeteria, the late night walks to Brockert Hall, cooking out on the roof, just playing football period, it feels so distant to the point where I almost don't even believe it ever happened.

I'm not really ever sure how I'm supposed to feel about this snow balling of time, I know it's an awful and cliche metaphor, but whatever, it effectively illustrates how I feel about this. Just sitting in the office I've worked in for the duration of my time here in Iowa City I sometimes think back to certain days in those two years and try to remember what I was thinking about then. How did I see myself? Where did I think I would be at the time this blog was written? What new people would be in my life? Who would have exited my life? Things that you never have answers to and never will.

This time last year I was spending a lot of time with my friend Luke and his wife, this time two years ago I was prepping for spring break with some friends from Platteville, three years ago I was gearing up for Florida with some old high school friends, four years ago I was probably just going home for break to see my family. Doesn't seem like much happens in between those significant events in your life that stand out and beyond the rest.

I would really like a camera to take more photos with. I want more physical memories to cherish with the people in my life that I love. I don't have enough to show for all the great memories that seem to slip away.

I wonder some days if there's some weird chemical in-balance where my brain isn't converting short term memories into long term ones as well, or if those memories are slowing flickering out. I don't want to forget most of them, some I don't mind losing.

I really just want to remember those times when I'm truly inspired.


We believe in everything that you can do.